he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize