You made me cry and you don't even care
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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