i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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