She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
