found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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