If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
