oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
