I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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