What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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