I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
