i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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