Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
