i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
