Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
