i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
