Need sex. Gaining weight.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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