Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
