i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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