please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
