i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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