if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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