My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I could make wine with my vomit
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
