So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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