this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We had to coat check the pizza.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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