I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
