This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
