i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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