Don't you send me to vm
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
