i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize