I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
