just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
