my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
