The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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