No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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