In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
