And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
