corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
