god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
