I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
