his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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