fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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