i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
