Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
