i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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