Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
