why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
