drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
