hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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