your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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