He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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