Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
