Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
