But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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