If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I need to calm my uterus...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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