Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
