He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
