So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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