Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
