Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
