Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
